Personal development. I think shes just being guarded and had that talk with him about getting seriousshe initiated it and he responded by letting her know that for 8 months he thought it was all a fun run. You want to get to know them more and you want to start building the foundation of a possible relationship going forward. You can find me on Instagram. Maybe you have been leaving the planning up to him, and he only comes up with one plan a week because he doesnt want to seem too overbearing. But this caught me completely off guard and sent me spinning with panic. We see each other every two weeks. Sometimes it's for 2 days sometimes it's 2 weeks. That is the calling card of a needy, insecure and possibly crazy piece of baggage. I'm seeing your point of view and it makes sense so thank you. You need a man who WANTS intimacy, not one who avoids it. We live a little over a hour away from each other. We've met up for lunch while he's on the road for only 2 hours. Im no psychologist but here are the hints that your guy is avoidant: Hes 55 and has been alone for last 10 years, with relationships that have lasted 1-year tops. I am trying to not take this personally but I'm failing at it. Aside from your personal thoughts such as on how to make him miss you in long distance relationship, you need to be grateful. This is a completely normal and valid reason why he isnt able to see you more often, he cant start cutting down on work responsibilities to spend more time with you, especially if the relationship is still new, and it isnt fair to expect him to do this! My boyfriend and I text each other, and send cute messages. My boyfriend has always been hesitant about me going out with my friends and drinking on the weekends. He does text and call during our busy work weeks. So we have a schedule set up where two weekends out of the month we go on a date in the city we met (about 45 minutes away but both of us work there so it's a easy middle ground). I would write down things I wanted to tell him about throughout the day to make sure I didn't forget. I understand he has friends to hang with but like not even 2 days? I'm just super frustrated cause I feel like he doesn't want to hang with me even tho when we are together it seems like he wants me there. On our dates we usually will do some sort of activity and/or a meal. He seems like a decent and open guy, so why don't you just talk to him openly about your concerns? I would stop contacting him first and stop all date planning. Or, if he's busy during the week and spends the majority of his weekends . Said my mind's gone half crazy (Yeah) 'cause I can't leave you alone (And I just don't know) And I'm wonderin' if it's worth me holdin' on (I said I just don't know what to do now . I do think he is genuinely busy but hes made no move to integrate me into his life (I havent met his friends or family). Because of this, it is totally normal to not want to spend all of your time together. He still texts me every morning and night, and is warm, attentive, and kind. Should I Text Him? He wants to date forever every other week. One of the traits that we can train is the communication way on how to solve misunderstanding between boyfriend girlfriend. Because he is away all week he has a lot to fit into his weekends and he usually spends at least one day with his friends. Rather than keep asking the question of why does my boyfriend only want to see me once a week, it will be better for us to train the trust that we have in a relationship. In the beginning we saw each other weekly, Im concerned hes losing interest. If he finds just about any excuse to not go out with you, then it is a bit of a red flag. 3. helodriver87 I needed this tip back in college. It appears that Musiq Souldchild and his alleged baby mama Ashley Tiyumba Wright have split. Fourteen years ago when I was 48 years old, single for a long time, divorced with grown kids and no particular interest in marrying again, I started going out with a man with whom I had a compatible blend of attitudes. My husband is a pilot he's away for 3 nights a week then home for a few nights. Funny, my so called boyfriend sees me every other weekend and on occasion 1 night during the week. Im sure part of the problem is that I dont know what I want, and thats why I cant find an answer in your blog. I don't make him fit me in his schedule, I am always considerate if he has plans which is why I try to make plans with him a week in advance and not last minute cause I completely understand that sometimes dates need to scheduled in considering I work 2 jobs. If the relationship is new, lets say, less than two months, then I think its perfectly fine that you arent a priority in his life. He initiates all the texting. I'm one of those. This is because we are all different and unique in our own way. I encourage you to figure out what you need and also come up with a plan on what you will do if he cannot meet your needs. Seeing him Friday and Sunday during the day is plenty of time to spend. A New Mode, Inc. 2009-2023 All rights reserved. It will be hard for me to fill out my time and not feel bad about myself but you are right and I should wait until he asks for my time instead of vice versa. He needs to continually have his confidence . The Pyramid of Love illustrates a six-step process I teach as your dating coach in Love U. I have a career where 14 hour days are common and no matter how much you want to see someone, there is not a ton of time. It's his loss. I find myself feeling single most of the time and can't say he seems real most of the time. It was like a little honeymoon every weekend. Or are you being the one that is demanding too much attention? If the two of you have just started dating, or even before you become committed, how much do you actually know about each other? But if we didn't speak for a few days, we wouldn't be contemplating whether or not our relationship worked. Last year, it was actually named , Finding a dating coach can be a daunting task, especially if youre not sure where to start. We also do this thing where whenever one of us finds change on the ground we pick it up, take a picture of it, and send it to the other. No matter what, if someone loves you, he will manage time to see you however. I want to see him more often. That's how we stay emotionally connected, through memes, occasional phone calls and making plans at the weekend. Well, on an emotional level, writing letters between us is an absolute gift from God. Press J to jump to the feed. I always give him the dates that work with both mine and his work schedule and allow him to choose the dates he wants to hang with me. He's making choices and he's sticking to them - regardless of how it makes you feel. Nobody writes letters anymore, it seems. You shouldnt have to beg for his time. Some people really enjoy their own space and spend most of their time in their own company. It was difficult trying to maintain that healthy balance of keeping my own life and wanting to increase our intimacy. People have no idea how we do it. We miss each other. Don't get me wrong, i'm very attracted to him and the sex is always amazing . If a relationship isn't progressing, end it. We spend our time at his place. Im wondering if there is anything else I should do or say at this point. Having grown up in long distance relationships (moving away from my hometown, meeting someone at college who lived elsewhere and having a partner who works away throughout the week) I really struggled with it at first. At the end of the day, he might be exhausted and the last thing he feels like doing is driving to come to see you, or going out to dinner. 46 Skyler J. Collins I have 1 co worker, 3 family members and 4 friends saying I made a diffucult but very adult decision and that there will be someone out there that will value and appreciate the time I want to invest into a relationship and would want the same. What I'm doing for myself ? Once you remove yourself, they have a chance to create their own bond Hell do the absolute bare minimum to keep you interested but not give an inch more. wants you to change (by dressing differently or ditching your friends) that could be a sign they don't really like you for you, and you deserve someone much better. Empowered living. Start dating younger men who have time. you need to dump him!Tell him that since he has no time for you that this relationship isn't working out for you and are going to start seeing other people. I dont think theres anything inherent about a relationship where you only see each other on weekends that means its unhealthy. Captian_Cocksmith Being dependent on you to be happy or entertained. Gone are the days when people married their high school sweethearts. Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? By his own admission, hes a pleaser who says yes to everything until he explodes or disappears. We currently are doing long distance where he is home working and I am away at school. If he WANTS to see you, hed find a way, no matter how busy he is. Was it like this from the beginning or did you get better at it ? I dont text him unless he does for fear of suffocating him. Things maybe moved (OK, maybe I moved things) more quickly than they should have, in the sense that I brought up the future casually, jokingly, but he took it very seriously, as I would later find out. He keeps telling me he loves me and we are in a relationship when I get upset with him and vocalise my need for wanting to spend more time together, I dont think it is unreasonable almost a year into a relationship. Claudine Georgette Longet (born 29 January 1942) is a Franco-American singer, actress, dancer, and recording artist popular during the 1960s and 1970s.. Born in Paris, France, Longet was married to American singer and television entertainer Andy Williams from 1961 until 1975. Two things about house phones: (1) They are heavy and holding it up to your ear is a workout you're not trying to participate in. He has not yet met my son. The bottom line is,it is not progressing. I'm seeking help now. My boyfriend (59) and I (53) have a tremendously happy, loving, and supportive 5-year relationship and we mostly see each other on weekends - rarely during the week. You'll just feel lonely and frustrated if you keep hanging on to him. Rarely, he's allowed a 2 minute phone call from a pay phone, but he's usually surrounded by like 60+ plus dudes waiting their turn, which makes my sweet, introverted infantryman uncomfortable acting like himself on the phone. He is only home Friday night to Monday morning working away through the week. I applaud him for his honesty and his journey to be a better man, but Im a confused mess. Hi-if he is so busy that he can only meet up every two weeks-you are not his priority. It reminded me of the different ways that people experience friendships and relationships, and how some people prefer to do everything together and others have a preference for some mixture of. Healthy habits. The first reason is because your boyfriend is an introvert. We make it a priority to talk on the phone every day at least once even if it's only to say "I love you, good night." I want to smell him, feel him, love him in person. He texts and checks in everyday, but I'm lucky if I get so much as a phone call since we started seeing each other (he used to call every other night, at least). When you go so long without seeing each other do you still feel like you have a boyfriend ? I'll just be honest, I love my man and when he's not here the difference definitely noted. If he steps it up and seems to put more effort in,then you could say Do you picture us spending more time together going forward and meeting each others fsmilies? See what he says-if he starts to tell he has no time,is not ready for that-let him go,as he cant be the guy you want. I just get on with my life and don't let it drag me down. It's tough but we make the most of the time we do have together. (Not so they can send you sappy romantic texts before you even meet.) I just feel so angry when I think about the possibility that he only wants sex from me on his mundane weekday nights. Good luck to you, OP. Every weekend we stay at either mine or his place. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Of course as a human being, he will need to take some rest in Saturday or Sunday. We get to spend one whole night together, and then the following day we get all day together. After 8 months she broke up with him because the looks faded and the sex was lousy according to her. 5. I hope you find what you're looking for. The way an extrovert and introvert person to show their love to their loved ones are different. Do not make the plans. As I see it, what you're really asking is (just like before), "Is he actually more into me than he seems to be, and therefore should I stick around even though it isn't making me happy?" Just like love languages, some of these don't match up very well and that can be a bad thing in the long run. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? On Sunday evening, we'd drive home. Sure, certainly. That would shake him up , How to shake him up? 2. Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. 1. You can tell me he buys you flowers, rubs your feet, and cures cancer on the side. Thank you, your first paragraph is what I kind of knew but like I said I'm not emotionally ready so I have been trying to see if he would compromise but like you said he clearly doesn't want to. But, if you are that extrovert type of girlfriend, by the time goes by, you will feel uncomfortable. She doesn't normally play a lot. Is it official? I also think he thinks things are just fine the way they are. If we hang out, it's typically one day a week I'll spend the night. Sorry for the rambling, but your advice is much appreciated. And thats okay! And you know we dont sugarcoat things around here. You deserve someone who wants more than anything to spend more time with you not whine about feeling pressured to see you twice a week let alone 3 times. 1. Hes made it clear he only wants to date me so I dont think hes cheating. But if you two have been dating for more than two months and he sees you once a week (if that), its time to pack your picnic basket and find a new park. I keep telling myself that IF he wanted to see me, he would get on a flight - or have me come to him. He refuses to see that he is the common denominator.